Moron Enterprises

A friend of mine is going whale watching. That inspired me to go Discovery Channel on you people and teach you something new. People go to Sea World to see Shamu perform tricks and respond to the commands of a trainer. They’re thinking, I’d like to keep one of these if I had the room. What people fail to see is that these animals are very aptly named. They are killing machines.

Often called the wolves of the sea, Killer Whales hunt in packs. During the annual migration of Gray Whales, which many of you have probably seen on a whale watching trip, mothers and calves make the journey behind the rest of the pod, because the calves can’t keep up. Killer whales take advantage of the situation, swimming between the mother and calf, separating the two. Then the Killer Whales will repeatedly jump out of the water, throwing their bodies onto the calf, trying to drown it. The mother Gray Whale does her best to support the weight of the calf as it tires, but after a few hours, the Killer Whales have made their kill and the mother has to continue on her migration. There is an article about it here.

On the coast of South America, where seals raise young pups, Killer Whales also employ a very different hunting strategy. They will swim in behind a wave and actually beach themselves to snag a seal pup. The whales toss the pups into the sea and play with it, tossing it above the water with their noses. Even half an hour later when the seal pup is dead, you can see Killer Whales catapulting the pup into the air with their tails. More information on this can be seen in this video.

They even take on Great White Sharks. Killer Whales are efficient hunters, so the next time you see Shamu jump through a hoop, it is completely appropriate to yell out, “Murderer!” Pointing and booing is also very appropriate.