Moron Enterprises

There are a lot of things we want in life, most of which are completely useless. Let me take some time to point out some of these things. While these are useless items, I am not opposed to having people buy them for me

Who couldn’t use a toilet paper dispenser that portions out your toilet paper and folds it neatly for you? Now your energy can be conserved for turning the pages of your magazines. During your sit in protest against complete digestion, why not enjoy a movie with your very own iPod projector? That’s right. Now your tiny movies can be stretched into pixelated oblivion. Now if only they could put a refrigerator into the bathroom. Then it would be less of a waste disposal location and more of a recycling center. Now you can have and HD refigeration experience. They should put a camera inside so you can see what’s in your fridge without opening the door. Oh, wait…that’s called a window.

So most inventions and gadgets are useless, but there are some pretty cool ones out there. I get tired walking stairs all the time, but I dread the elevator. If someone farts in the elevator, it’s over. Fortunately someone has come up with a great slide system to get around the office building. I guess if we’re not walking around the office anymore, there is little need to monitor your heart rate with the heart monitor ring. That’s too bad. I was hoping to get a ring buddy and yell out, “Wonder Twins unite! Form of…cholesterol destroying Lipitor!”

Not interested in any of these inventions yet? That’s okay. Someone actually invented something useful: instant, self-cooking rice. Add cold water and it begins to cook. How does it all work? It has a lot to do with my line of work, so I can’t tell you, because I don’t know. I spend my work hours writing blog posts.