Yesterday I wrote about releasing yourself from technology’s USB powered grip. Here is yet another reason that lets you know you are tethered to technology. Someone has gone to the trouble of inventing a USB charger, which runs on the energy from the expansion of your torso while breathing. The good news is that if you find yourself being owned by technology, technology has even provided a way out. You can do yourself in with the USB Doomsday Device.
The good news is that there are some useful inventions out there. For those of you that love surfing but hate the tiny waves we get on most of California’s coast, someone has invtented a surfboard that never loses its wave. That’s pretty ingenius, but I’m sure it costs a pretty penny. You can always keep it safe behind your very own laser wall.
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I wasn’t going to write about my meatless diet, which I’m sure has gotten monotonous, as I no longer feel weak and tired. It’s now boring. The only time it is tough is when people put meat in front of me. Unfortunately I have a mom that is seemingly trying to make my life hard. This is some of the groceries she had me bring in from her car. My struggle continues, and I am more determined than ever to finish up this self imposed challenge.
I ran across this gadget online in my daily browsing. Are you kidding me? If you have to charge this many things at once, do yourself a favor. Wrap one end of the USB cable around your neck and the other around the shower head and relieve yourself from the grip technology has on your life. You are technology’s bitch.
I’m officially two days into my vegetarian adventures. I thought vegetables are supposed to help with digestion, and I thought that meat was the culprit in smelly flatulence. Well, I haven’t had any more success in the restroom, and my flatulence seems to be more potent than usual. Maybe my body is cleansing itself. Anyone want to hang out this weekend?
On top of bodily functions, I don’t know if it’s just because I am not eating meat, but everyone else seems to be eating great meat-packed meals around me. Before lunch today, Mell taunted me by telling me what Google had on the menu. She debated “out loud” over IM, whether she should have the filet mignon or the ribs. I hope she got worms from lunch. For dinner my mom brought out the good steak, which she promptly consumed in front of me.
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I’m sitting at work. I feel pretty crappy right now. This is a step up from really crappy before I took some medicine. My body needs meat. It’s punishing me right now for betraying it. Should I fight on through this? Will I be a better person for this? I need a nap. Lunch is so far away!
I forgot that I had a business dinner tonight. Of course my dad picked Elephant Bar for the restaurant. This place isn’t known for vegetarian dishes. To top it off, my dad ordered the BBQ Platter and our out of town guest had the tri-tip with BBQ shrimp. They had Garden Burgers on the menu, but we all know those taste like crap. So I had the Pad Thai with tofu. I guess I am a vegetarian and not a Vegan. I really didn’t think this through. Even though it had protein and plenty of starch, I’m feeling rather weak. I’m hungry and tired. I’m so ready to quit.
I have finished my first meal as a vegetarian. So far it’s not bad. Maybe that’s because I bit my lip really hard during lunch. That’s basically like eating meat, especially when you’re tasting blood.
As promised in my last post, I am a vegetarian this week. I was thinking of allowing myself eggs or tofu, but like most things in life, I haven’t really planned ahead. So far things are going well as I have not eaten anything. That still counts, right?
This weekend I got a chance to go see The Kims of Comedy. The name everyone recognizes is Bobby Lee, but the other comics were really entertaining too. Ask me about it sometime and I can butcher the jokes they told and make them not funny for you. Here is a clip of Bobby Lee.
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Dear Internet,
I’m sorry I have neglected you.
There is a new girl in my life, a real human, but that is not what this is about. You have been supportive with that and even facilitated our relationship with iSight and GMail. The neglect has been due to the doldrums of an occupation.
I never thought I’d be a working man, working a nine to five job. I thought I could work a four hour day, somehow make a great living, and spend the rest of my day on the Internet. There was nothing that told me this would be remotely possible, and I had no skillset to be able to accomplish this, but it was what I thought to be attainable. Well, my reality has become that of a working man. It has come to the point, where I am beginning to neglect you, someone that has always been there for me.
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There are a lot of things we want in life, most of which are completely useless. Let me take some time to point out some of these things. While these are useless items, I am not opposed to having people buy them for me
Who couldn’t use a toilet paper dispenser that portions out your toilet paper and folds it neatly for you? Now your energy can be conserved for turning the pages of your magazines. During your sit in protest against complete digestion, why not enjoy a movie with your very own iPod projector? That’s right. Now your tiny movies can be stretched into pixelated oblivion. Now if only they could put a refrigerator into the bathroom. Then it would be less of a waste disposal location and more of a recycling center. Now you can have and HD refigeration experience. They should put a camera inside so you can see what’s in your fridge without opening the door. Oh, wait…that’s called a window.
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