Moron Enterprises

Lately I have been feeling run down with work. It makes me feel rather old. After a long day at work, I don’t want to do much. It made me start thinking about stories of my parents when they were my age and how they seemed a lot more fun than myself.

At this age, my parents and all their friends were just starting to get married. I’m not saying that I want to be married like my parents, but there is something they did for fun to all the newlyweds. Being people with little money, their honeymoons were spent in nice hotels in the area. They formed what they called The Honeymoon Committee. The Honeymoon Committee’s job was to keep the party going after the reception.

Sometimes they would wait until the end of the wedding reception and kidnap the bride. They would take the bride to someone’s house and watch television until the groom found them. Bear in mind, this was before cell phones. It was an adventure. This went on up until ten years ago, when the last of them finally tied the knot.

Other times they would find out where the couple was staying, have two committee members pretend to be the couple and check into the room. Then everyone else would sneak in to the room. By the time the real couple arrived, a new person would be at the front desk to give them keys, leaving them unsuspecting. Sometimes they all hid in the bathroom to surprise the couple. Other times they made themselves at home with the mini bar and the television. One time I recall them saying there was a Rocky marathon on television that night, and they all fell asleep watching the Italian Stallion throw punches.

The fun didn’t stop after weddings. My dad told me when he had just moved into his new home with my mom, their friends decided in the middle of the night that they wanted to see the new house. They got to the house, climbed in through a window, but the layout of the house didn’t allow them to get passed a locked door. They stood around for a while and decided to flush the toilet to wake my parents up. After my dad calmed down and put some pants on, they all had dessert.

Although it sounds like a lot of fun, I don’t really want to go kidnapping brides, tagging along on honeymoons, or breaking into my friends’ houses. Just hearing these stories makes me feel like I am not living life to the fullest. I think I need to pick up another hobby or learn a new skill. I think you should all encourage me to do that, or I may be breaking into your house for a late night snack.