Moron Enterprises

This weekend was the fashion show for Audrey Magazine. It was at the Peterson Automative Museum. I would have loved to just be at the museum just for the cars. It was a well put together event, fun as always.

(more…)

Cameras are getting smaller and smaller so it only makes sense to turn them into hidden cameras. Sneak one into the sorority house, but make sure you get something that won’t fog up. Those naked pillow fights can get pretty steamy. If you want to catch the audio, this is the device for you. Slip your SIM card into this unit and call your number. Sit back and listen to the squeals of delight from the sexy coeds.

I am in no way condoning the use of these devices for spying on those you love. If you’re spying on someone, you already don’t trust them. Plus it just lets too many skeletons out of the closet. Michelle doesn’t need to know about my operatic performances in the nude when I feed my fish. I don’t need to know about the shrine she built for me in her closet, tucked behind a row of sweaters, but that’s because I already know about it.

Disclaimer: All the links in this post are to SFW (safe for work) content, but the links on the following pages contain links that are NSFW.

The gem I stumbled upon is cologne from Germany, but it’s not just any cologne. It’s supposed to be the essence of femininity in a bottle. This is brilliant. European people smell so bad as it is that they probably think this smells great. Once they build up a good customer base, they can switch their supplier from an army of spread-legged women to the local fish cannery. I doubt this will take off in the United States based on these reviews, although I doubt Chelsea is the target marketplace. I bet this is the first time in a long time that the scent of va-jay-jay has wafted in the air there.

Last time I was working in the middle of nowhere, it was here. You see how there are only the major highways visible in the middle of California? There are tons of food plants in this area. All the money for production plants is in producing with the lowest overhead. So what do they do? They put their plants in the middle of nowhere, so rent is cheaper and so is labor. Cal State Fresno is the closest university around. I wanted out of there so badly, we finished our job and I drove home and almost crashed my car about a hundred times on the way home.

Look where I get to go for work now. That is right. This one is even more in the middle of nowhere, if it’s even possible to more in the middle than the last trip tot he middle of nowhere. Unfortunately this job is a two day job this time. There will be no escaping. Maybe I can stay here when I head up there. Then I can make a lot of money the first night and pay someone else to do my work, maybe one of those bright Cal State Fresno alumni.

I wrote an extremely long post already, detailing some applications that make using Windows more bearable, but the post got blasted into oblivion. I upgraded my blog software and had an incompatible plugin, which messed up while writing to the database. Instead of the well thought out post, I am going to just list programs with links.

Launchy. RunMe. PDFCreator. VirtuaWin. Firefox with Adblock Plus.

(more…)

I installed a widget for my website to hide ads from regular viewers. Rather than waste resources displaying ads to regular readers, who are unlikely to click on the ads, I have chosen to hide them. Most of you probably won’t even notice as you use some form of Adblock whether you’re on Internet Explorer or Firefox. If you’re not using any built-in browser ad blocking, you shouldn’t see ads as long as the computer you are using sees my website a couple times a week. You’ll still see the title bar for the ads, but the ads should not show up. Let me know if you run into any bugs.

I think all women should take the last name of their husbands when they get married. Sure a ring indicates you are married, but if a woman doesn’t have her husband’s last name, how do you know which man owns her?

Some people might be offended by this billboard, but it’s brilliant advertising. This is what advertising is all about. Convince your market that they would be better off with your services. This theory is what the whole “Got Milk?” campaign is based upon. Do your joints feel a little weary? You’d better drink a glass of milk. I doubt the average person will see that billboard and decide to get a divorce, but if there are people that are that suggestible, I bet I could make some money putting up a billboard that reads, “Got Problems? Send Me Your Money!”

The New York Times has recently removed the requirement of a registration to access all of their content. That means anyone and everyone with an Internet connection can get to any articles on their website, including the archives. Someone has done us the favor of rounding up some of the interesting articles. You can really tell that the writing is quite dated in the articles, some containing racist undertones.

While New York Times has released more content to us, I am sad to announce that Business 2.0 will no longer be published. I love this magazine. It focuses on technology in business as well as less traditional aspects of business, such as business skills being used for philanthropy. I’m going to miss this publication, as it is one of the few business magazines I could read without dozing off. It provided me quite a few hours of hideaway time in the company restroom. No one thought I was creepy, taking Business 2.0 into the restroom. Now I’m going to be “that guy” once again, taking my Playboy and Penthouse into the stalls.

Southwest is doing away with their cattle lineup, at least partially. Instead of putting 70% of passengers in group A and having them get up when group A is called along with stupid people that can’t read single letters, they are assigning a group letter along with number. This is supposed to allow people to line up in order. Does anyone else think this is asinine? It’s already a hassle when some moron gets to the front of the line and has to be told he is not in the current boarding group. Does Southwest really think people that can’t read individual letters will be able to count? Now they are going to hold up the line, telling people they are in the wrong letter group and wrong number group. Do they really think this is going to prevent people from lining up in the wrong order before it’s their turn, or do they think this puts a stop to people saving seats with luggage? What stops A-1 from saving a seat for C-9? Just assign seats!