Disclaimer: All the links in this post are to SFW (safe for work) content, but the links on the following pages contain links that are NSFW.
The gem I stumbled upon is cologne from Germany, but it’s not just any cologne. It’s supposed to be the essence of femininity in a bottle. This is brilliant. European people smell so bad as it is that they probably think this smells great. Once they build up a good customer base, they can switch their supplier from an army of spread-legged women to the local fish cannery. I doubt this will take off in the United States based on these reviews, although I doubt Chelsea is the target marketplace. I bet this is the first time in a long time that the scent of va-jay-jay has wafted in the air there.
Why do people wear ties in the white collar world? It makes no sense and really isn’t a great fashion statement. It’s like tail for your neck. Who would have thought that the Japanese would be the ones to make a tie that has useful purpose. I just don’t know who would want the butt cooler. Isn’t that just going to release odors from the chair? Still, I’d be willing to try it while in the nude.
After keeping cool all day at the office, you may want to melt off some pounds in a sauna. Who can afford one? Everyone! That is a great idea. It’s an over sized garment bag with a hot pot filled with water in it. I wouldn’t be allowed to have one of these, because I am not mature enough to not lock people in this.
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How many times have you tried to peel a potato, only to have it slip out of your hands and go sliding across the floor? Then when you grip it tighter, you can’t get around your fingers without scratching and slicing your knuckles. Those days are gone, my friends. We now have Tater Mitts! These are just not recommended for people with jock itch, athletes foot, or chronic nose pickers, although if you’re preparing food in the kitchen, you should probably keep your hands off those places anyway.
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I’ve run across some more interesting finds browsing this wonderful thing we call the World Wide Web. What would I do without the Internet? I sure would have a lot less porn. That must why the OLPC project was started. Kids need porn too. (Totally work safe.)
I’m sure you’ve all seen toe socks before. They are creepy looking, but they go great with toe shoes. This means there’s no more stopping to bend over and pick things up off the ground. You can go for a run on the beach and pick up seashells you come across while in mid stride.
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Normally I write about things people have invented and created that people shouldn’t use, things like the Waste of Time Checklist and the Crazy Cat Lady Figurine. That checklist game might be fun. Does anyone want to play that with me one day? I digress. Today I choose to write about useful gadgets, inventions, and general creations that may prove useful in the real world.
While this first one isn’t created just yet, the patent is already filed and it’s a good one. Tom Tom has filed for a patent for a camera based GPS unit. This can prove quite useful when wandering around unfamiliar streets, especially when so many roads are so close together. Although I do wonder if people are going to be watching this thing instead of the road. That may prove a bit dangerous.
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No, this post is not about your pathetic boyfriend, although after reading this article, you might think so. He doesn’t have a medical condition that keeps him going back to the video games. It’s just that he thinks the video games are more interesting than you. The truth is out now.
Well, I’ve stumbled upon a gold mine of crap that you can buy. Have you ever wondered what to do with those batteries that have too little juice to power your flashlight, but you know there’s still some life left in them that you’d like to use? You can stop worrying with the Battery Eater. Now you can have peace of mind that you got every last bit of energy out of those batteries, making your money well spent. If it’s still killing you that you can’t get actual use every last bit of power, there is always the Panic Button. If you are really so helpless without all your portable electronics, you should try to turn yourself into a human battery. Power overwhelming!
I didn’t think much of it when Apple first announced the iPhone. I’m not a huge cell phone nerd like a certain medical professional friend of mine. When I started seeing the commercials, they made me want the phone. The interface just looks so smooth. I want to see just how well Apple implemented the GUI. I just hope the phone doesn’t end up being like most touch-screen devices.
Just because I say I want one of these things doesn’t mean I will get one. Really, I want one but only for about two days to play with it before I get bored with it, like most of my gift list. Maybe I should add a Jumbo Margarita Maker to the list. That’s always useful, because think of all the frustration of waiting over a minute for a drink.
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When I was in China, I thought for sure we were all doomed to being slaves to our slant-eyed overlords. The value on human labor is so low there that they can manufacture anything at a fraction of the cost making the prices miniscule to we’re used to seeing. I remember bargaining for shirts with communist themes and then realized I was already down to two dollars a shirt. Well, according to the New York Times, China may not be the economic world power if it continues with shady practices. Are you kidding me? Antifreeze toothpaste!
The long weekend is ahead of us. It’s warm now, and hopefully it will stay that way. I love warm weather. It means barbeques and playing in cool water setups like this. I don’t know why, but I really want this even though I think my weight would crush the slide and make the kids cry. Anyway, I will be making my way down to San Diego to see Shamu. I know some of you hate that post, but it’s nature. I hope Shamu escapes out of his pen and eats a seal so I can capture it on film.
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If your child had a cold, would you suck the snot out of her nose? Now you can, thanks to this. I’m in agreeance with Gizmodo on this one. I don’t care how good the filter is on this thing. I’m not using it. Not only is this a disgusting product, but doesn’t that child looks really creepy in the product photo? A Child like that is a little too Children of the Corn for my tastes. You would risk catching a cold or becoming posessed by the devil coming in contact with this child’s mucus. If you’ll excuse me, I need to take a hot shower now.
Yesterday I wrote about releasing yourself from technology’s USB powered grip. Here is yet another reason that lets you know you are tethered to technology. Someone has gone to the trouble of inventing a USB charger, which runs on the energy from the expansion of your torso while breathing. The good news is that if you find yourself being owned by technology, technology has even provided a way out. You can do yourself in with the USB Doomsday Device.
The good news is that there are some useful inventions out there. For those of you that love surfing but hate the tiny waves we get on most of California’s coast, someone has invtented a surfboard that never loses its wave. That’s pretty ingenius, but I’m sure it costs a pretty penny. You can always keep it safe behind your very own laser wall.
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