Moron Enterprises

When surfing the Internet, I’ve always been free to use up as much bandwidth as I wish, because my parents just check email and browse text websites with a few images. Recently my parents have been discovering the awesomeness that is Internet. Now we fight over the bandwidth. My mom is constantly uploading her photos to her web album while watching violin concerts on YouTube. My dad has recently found out how to stream National Geographic documentaries. On top of having cell phones that use our Internet connection, things have slowed to a crawl. This is not good at all. How am I supposed to use the Internet as it was intended, to download porn? I think I’ll have to throttle my parents bandwidth at the router. Then they’ll be none the wiser.

Well, the United States Postal Service is putting another price increase into effect. The government’s inefficiencies seemingly come to light as the price of sending a letter goes higher and higher, but there’s a catch. The price is up, but the delivery time is down. Now a forty two cent stamp will get you delivery anywhere in the United States in less than twelve parsecs, thanks in part to the hiring of a new mail delivery staff with special delivery craft.

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Man evolved certain characteristics in order to survive. There isn’t too much life and death survival going on these days in the modern world, so where will man get its next push to evolve? One could argue athletes are pushing themselves to new physical limits, and we know they father plenty of children. *Cough*Shawn Kemp*Cough* Still I don’t think this is where the next step in human evolution is going to come from, because athletes make up too small a percentage of the population.

Our next generation of evolved human beings will come from gamers. The new survival ground is the Internet. The eye hand coordination and finger dexterity on these kids is incredible. Have you ever gone online to play a game of Halo 3 and been killed as soon as you’ve signed online? This is the future of mankind. Now if we could only get these nerds some action so they could spread their superior genetics.

The Nintendo Wii has been selling like hotcakes for a long time now. The reason is simple. You can smack your friends in the head with a controller, because it’s that intense. They even make special adapters so you can feel like you’re doing real life things.

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Congratulations to MichelleWoo.com! Yesterday marked one year of excellent, entertaining blogging. How do I know it has been a year? For a short time yesterday Michelle’s website displayed a message that her hosting had expired. I forgot to check my domain’s email so we could pay the bill. Some quick maneuvering and the site is back up in all its greatness.

This marks one of a few websites under the Moron Enterprises banner. That’s right. Like it or not, when I set up a website for you, you automatically become an ashamed member of the Moron Enterprises family. Other sites include Love the Wang and Box of Water.

I’m sure most of you that visit this site regularly do not pay attention to anything other than the main content. It’s the same for myself. I did happen to click on my ClustrMaps today and noticed I have a few holes in my visitor’s locations. Antarctica doesn’t even show up on the map, but I’m sure the visitors are zero to few. It is my goal to get Moron Enterprises known on every continent. We’re going global!

Antarctica and Africa could be tough. I don’t believe there is a high concentration of Internet users on either of these continents as lions and penguins don’t have Internet access. Maybe if I write about Antarctica’s research stations or South Africa’s nature reserves, I will pop onto someone’s radar.

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Good news, everybody. I fixed my layout so the images fit into the column. Actually I just adjusted the style sheet to reduce the width of the main content, leaving me plenty of room to enlarge a third side column. That’s all. You can go back to your daily business and rest knowing that my site is running okay.

I decided it was time to change the look of my website. The Apple look was nice, but change is nice too. This theme organizes some of the basic navigation functionality on the top of the design. I am all set, except for one minor glitch. I can’t figure out how to get my Picasa gallery feed to fit into the sidebar. Fortunately it’s on the far right side and doesn’t interfere with any of the content. I’m using this plugin if anyone has any code experience and wants to dive into it. Let me know what you think.

As promised I dug through some of my old CDs that I burned in college. It was great finding tons of music videos. What is amazing is the low quality some of these videos. I remember them taking up half of my screen when I was in school. I must have been running a 600-pixel resolution or something, because these videos are tiny on my computer now.

These three videos I dug up are Japanese commercials for a well known athletics gear company. Although these are old and not American commercials, I’d rather not receive take down notices from YouTube. I found these through my Japanese roommate, who was really into Japanese pop culture. He would wake up at 4:00 AM once a week to listen to a Japanese radio show that streamed live over the Internet. He said all three of these videos had famous Japanese rappers do the music.

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