Moron Enterprises

My ranking keeps dropping every minute. I have no idea how to fly my balloon. As long as I am not last, I am satisfied. Surely there is someone out there that isn’t even playing and is stuck at the finish line.

Way to go! Thanks to everyone that downloaded Firefox 3.0 two days ago. You may not have known, but you were setting a world record. If you did, go on over here and get yourself a certificate. If you didn’t download it, still go ahead and get yourself a certificate. This is like one of those “everybody gets a trophy” days.

If you look up above, you’ll see a very conspicuous banner. What is it for? It’s for the Internet’s first balloon race! You read the FAQ here. I honestly don’t know what it’s all about or how it works. I just thought it sounded like an interesting concept. It starts on June 23rd and ends June 30th. I have no idea how, but you guys can help out by giving my balloon a boost.

Get your copy now. Clickie Clickie

While Mozilla hasn’t officially released Firefox 3.0 to the public, the release candidates are readily available, and the verdict is in already. Walt Mossberg of Wall Street Journal fame has given his seal of approval for Mozilla’s new browser. I second his recommendation, even if you’re not using version 3.0 yet.

Firefox is so much more feature-rich than other browsers when you use add-ons. I can sync my bookmarks between two computers running Firefox, I haven’t seen an advertisement on a website in over a year, and I even have a spiffied up Gmail, all thanks to Firefox and its wonderful plugins.

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I have 10 invitations to give out to a piece of software that is absolutely brilliant. It is a simple way to sync up files between two computers and share files with friends. There is no overly complicated setup or  steep learning curve. It just works. The software is called Dropbox. Watch the screencast on the website and leave a comment if you are interested in this software. I’ll send an invitation to your email.

When surfing the Internet, I’ve always been free to use up as much bandwidth as I wish, because my parents just check email and browse text websites with a few images. Recently my parents have been discovering the awesomeness that is Internet. Now we fight over the bandwidth. My mom is constantly uploading her photos to her web album while watching violin concerts on YouTube. My dad has recently found out how to stream National Geographic documentaries. On top of having cell phones that use our Internet connection, things have slowed to a crawl. This is not good at all. How am I supposed to use the Internet as it was intended, to download porn? I think I’ll have to throttle my parents bandwidth at the router. Then they’ll be none the wiser.

Well, the United States Postal Service is putting another price increase into effect. The government’s inefficiencies seemingly come to light as the price of sending a letter goes higher and higher, but there’s a catch. The price is up, but the delivery time is down. Now a forty two cent stamp will get you delivery anywhere in the United States in less than twelve parsecs, thanks in part to the hiring of a new mail delivery staff with special delivery craft.

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Man evolved certain characteristics in order to survive. There isn’t too much life and death survival going on these days in the modern world, so where will man get its next push to evolve? One could argue athletes are pushing themselves to new physical limits, and we know they father plenty of children. *Cough*Shawn Kemp*Cough* Still I don’t think this is where the next step in human evolution is going to come from, because athletes make up too small a percentage of the population.

Our next generation of evolved human beings will come from gamers. The new survival ground is the Internet. The eye hand coordination and finger dexterity on these kids is incredible. Have you ever gone online to play a game of Halo 3 and been killed as soon as you’ve signed online? This is the future of mankind. Now if we could only get these nerds some action so they could spread their superior genetics.