Moron Enterprises

I have two cousins graduating from MIT this June and one more going in this fall. Yeah, they’re all pretty much going to eclipse me in the business world within six months out of school. That’s okay. I’m the funny cousin. Anyway, one thing I learned recently about MIT is that all of the students have to pass a swim test in order to graduate. They require two full laps around the perimeter of an Olympic-sized swimming pool without touching the bottom or the sides. I can think of a few of my friend that would not have degrees if they had to pass a swim test.

Still, I think it’s odd that a school that prides itself on its brain power would require a swim test to graduate. Pasty nerds don’t even like to get near the water whether it’s the beach or neighborhood pool. Computers don’t survive wet conditions. This makes me wonder how many MIT alumni are involved in drowning deaths each year.

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UCLA has fired coaches that don’t meet up to its historical athletic excellence. In recent years with the help of the Internet, UCLA fans have expressed their desire to get rid of coaches with poor performance records. Domains like loselavin.com, firetoledo.com, and firedorrell.com have been used to oust these coaches. UCLA’s newest football coach, Rick Neuheisel, will be much harder to get rid of in this same manner. No one is going to know how to spell his name. Can you imagine trying to type www.fireneuheisel.com into a browser? I just hope he is a sorely needed gem of a coach, but I don’t want to have to find that website. Go Bruins!